A Letter To Sidney On Her First Birthday

Happy First Birthday Sidney!

newborn – August 2019

September – 1 month

October – 2 months

November – 3 months

December – 4 months

January – 5 months

February – 6 months

March – 7 months

April – 8 months

May – 9 months

June – 10 months

July – 11 months

Dearest Sidney,

Happy First Birthday! Although having your baby turn one is not a unique experience, for me it feels like I’m the only mother experiencing such a momentous occasion. I’m still trying to figure out how to describe the emotions I’ve been feeling leading up to this day. Sad that you’re growing up so quickly. Grateful for having you in my life. Guilty for perhaps not cherishing every little moment of your tiny babyhood. Happy that you’re mine. But most of all: proud. So incredibly proud to be your mom.

I have to admit I was never the mushy gushy emotional type until you came along. I didn’t cry when we found out we were pregnant with you. I didn’t have tears when we first heard your little heartbeat at the doctor’s office. And I didn’t write you any “letters to my unborn baby” when you were in my tummy. I knew I always wanted to be a mother, but I couldn’t imagine what kind of mom I would be until my baby came along. Then once I met you, a year ago, it all fell into place.

I found emotions deep inside of myself that I didn’t know I could feel. When I met you, my heart shoved aside all the nonsense to make room for an eternal and unwavering kind of love. Yes, certainly a butt-wiping, sleepless night, unconditional type of love. But I’m talking about something you can’t describe with words.

Everyone that has met you in your short year of life knows you are such a unique little girl. You have a light that brightens up the worst gloomy day. From day one you’ve been calm, trusting, and the best companion. When I call you my “tiny girlfriend” I mean it! We do everything together, and even though we have many one-sided conversations these days (due to my blabbing on and your inability to say anything back right now), I know you’re going to be a great listener some day.

Thank you for making me feel loved, cherished, and necessary. Thank you for not noticing when I have no idea what I’m doing – because I’ve never had a baby before you. Thank you for being patient with me when I screw up, and thank you putting up with my imperfections.

You are my treasure, my gift, my angel. Happy First Birthday.

yours is the light by which my spirit’s born: …
–you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.

-E. E. Cummings

Love,

Mom

Have you recently celebrated a first birthday?  Let me know in a comment below!

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