There are some things that bloggers do that makes me scratch my head. Like…how in the world is that your life? I know we make it look like everything is perfect behind the scenes. But to poke some fun at the obvious, I’m listing the 15 reasons why I’m a sucky blogger.
Does not doing these things make me sucky? Maybe I’ll rephrase – I’m not your typical basic blogger. Ready for some laughs? Keep on readin’.
Photography by Dave Mentzer
- I have no marble in my apartment. I’m just really good at faking it.
- I don’t really like macaroons. Not once have I bought a macaroon to photograph it.
- I don’t have a cute tiny teacup dog. I DO have huge puma cats, though. Whenever I post pics of my cats on Instagram I lose followers. Meow!
- I’ve never held up balloons with numbers or words to celebrate a milestone. Where do you even get those things?
- When I travel I don’t take airport photos because a. my suitcases are ugly and b. I probably look like doodoo.
- My home is not spotless, which is why I can’t take mirror selfies.
- I drink my coffee faster than it takes my brain to pause and think to take a good photo of it. Furthermore, I only drink Starbucks coffee as a last resort. Local coffee shops are so much better.
- I kill plants. Or my cat eats them. Half the time when I’m shooting a flatlay with flowers the flowers are half dead and I have to use all the filters.
- I like to write about things that aren’t related to my outfits. A 400 word saga on a skirt is exhausting.
- Lazy weekends never exist in my world. On a Sunday morning, I don’t wear tall socks around the house and sit in bed and drink coffee, then proceed to take aerial shots of my legs wearing said socks.
- Stacks of bracelets annoy the heck out of me.
- My office doesn’t have a gallery wall, or a clear chair. Or a West Elm desk. Or some kind of motivational phrase poster. (Google ‘blogger office’ and you’ll quickly see what I’m talking about.)
- Stacks of fashionable and photograph-able coffee table books don’t exist in my home.
- I think that starting every blog post/instagram post with Happy [insert day of the week] is totally boring. I’ve done it, and it feels weird. My readers know what day of the week it is.
- I don’t have a t-shirt, bag, or mug that says “boss babe” or “girlboss” or some kind of cutesy phrase about drinking coffee.
If you’re a blogger and you do some of these things, I’m just poking some fun at the things we stereotypically do! Are there any other things that bloggers do that I left out? Im sure there are a million!
Bonus! I thought of two more:
16. I don’t have my posts scheduled a month in advance. I typically write them all the night before
17. The only photo shoot I’ve done where I’m holding flowers was for my wedding. Otherwise, I don’t tote around flowers in my photos. Also see #8.
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