There are some things that bloggers do that makes me scratch my head. Like…how in the world is that your life? I know we make it look like everything is perfect behind the scenes. But to poke some fun at the obvious, I’m listing the 15 reasons why I’m a sucky blogger.
Does not doing these things make me sucky? Maybe I’ll rephrase – I’m not your typical basic blogger. Ready for some laughs? Keep on readin’.
OUTFIT DETAILS:
FREE PEOPLE SWEATER | EXPRESS DISTRESSED DENIM (size down) | LULUS OLIVE HEELS | CHOKER (comes in a set of five) | MIDORI LINEA CELESTE NECKLACE | SOPHIE BLAKE NY CLAIRE EARRINGS | SHEIN BAG, SIMILAR
OUTFIT DETAILS:
FREE PEOPLE SWEATER | EXPRESS DISTRESSED DENIM (size down) | LULUS OLIVE HEELS | CHOKER (comes in a set of five) | MIDORI LINEA CELESTE NECKLACE | SOPHIE BLAKE NY CLAIRE EARRINGS | SHEIN BAG, SIMILAR
Photography by Dave Mentzer
- I have no marble in my apartment. I’m just really good at faking it.
- I don’t really like macaroons. Not once have I bought a macaroon to photograph it.
- I don’t have a cute tiny teacup dog. I DO have huge puma cats, though. Whenever I post pics of my cats on Instagram I lose followers. Meow!
- I’ve never held up balloons with numbers or words to celebrate a milestone. Where do you even get those things?
- When I travel I don’t take airport photos because a. my suitcases are ugly and b. I probably look like doodoo.
- My home is not spotless, which is why I can’t take mirror selfies.
- I drink my coffee faster than it takes my brain to pause and think to take a good photo of it. Furthermore, I only drink Starbucks coffee as a last resort. Local coffee shops are so much better.
- I kill plants. Or my cat eats them. Half the time when I’m shooting a flatlay with flowers the flowers are half dead and I have to use all the filters.
- I like to write about things that aren’t related to my outfits. A 400 word saga on a skirt is exhausting.
- Lazy weekends never exist in my world. On a Sunday morning, I don’t wear tall socks around the house and sit in bed and drink coffee, then proceed to take aerial shots of my legs wearing said socks.
- Stacks of bracelets annoy the heck out of me.
- My office doesn’t have a gallery wall, or a clear chair. Or a West Elm desk. Or some kind of motivational phrase poster. (Google ‘blogger office’ and you’ll quickly see what I’m talking about.)
- Stacks of fashionable and photograph-able coffee table books don’t exist in my home.
- I think that starting every blog post/instagram post with Happy [insert day of the week] is totally boring. I’ve done it, and it feels weird. My readers know what day of the week it is.
- I don’t have a t-shirt, bag, or mug that says “boss babe” or “girlboss” or some kind of cutesy phrase about drinking coffee.
If you’re a blogger and you do some of these things, I’m just poking some fun at the things we stereotypically do! Are there any other things that bloggers do that I left out? Im sure there are a million!
Bonus! I thought of two more:
16. I don’t have my posts scheduled a month in advance. I typically write them all the night before
17. The only photo shoot I’ve done where I’m holding flowers was for my wedding. Otherwise, I don’t tote around flowers in my photos. Also see #8.
–Roxanne
Currently Sipping: H2O
Shop the Post:
Along with everyone else, I love and appreciate the transparency! I’m guilty of doing some of these things, but they all just make me laugh. So funny, so true. Thank you for keeping it real.
Seneca
This was so refreshing to read! I love how honest you are and how it’s totally ok to not be a typical blogger. My room is also always a mess so that mirror selfie never exists and I have terrible lighting in my apartment to take any kind of photos at all!
Thanks for keeping it real!
hahaha this post is awesome! And P.S. they sell those balloons at Party City – and they’re actually really expensive like $10 a letter.
ebonyknowles.com
Haha! Yes! Would you like to go to coffee?? 😉 We would have lots to talk about. I definitely have my fair share of posts that merely describe the clothing I’m wearing. In fact, a full schedule zaps my creativity and that may be the content of the last few! Thank you for reminding me to be myself. You’re adorable.
P.S. Love the outfit.
Hahaha and that’s why I love reading your blog! I can agree to most of this! When it comes to coffee or food, I have eaten or consumed half of it before I can remember taking a photo! About the flower bit, oh I don’t get how bloggers can make them look so pretty. I give up using them for photos at all because they never look quite as pretty as other bloggers make them look!
Abby of Life in the Fash Lane
HAHAAA! I appreciate the compliment and feedback!
I did that last weekend – I ordered a pizza and I was starving…and didn’t realize I forgot to take a photo until after it was ravaged.
Hahaha love this post so much!! Everything is so accurate. I thought of another: those little cruiser bikes in pastel colors that they ride around on in heels and with no helmet. Haha. Thanks for being so honest as a blogger!
Miles of smiles,
Grace
gracefulrags.com
Thanks, Grace. Omg the pastel bikes with the baskets in front! That is HILARIOUS.
THis made me laugh. My house is a mess,as I say “we live here” I don’t own marble. While I do take pictures of my coffee, I don’t Instagram every meal. I am way too busy eating it. And with a 3yr old who has his fingers in it,doesnt look picture perfect. life isn’t picture perfect. MY Instagram doesn’t have profound captions. And the “woke up like this” You don’t want to see my “woke up like this” I look like Anna waking up from frozen..
You’re so right! I agree that a house that looks like a “lived in” home usually has piles of mail, some fruit scattered on the counter, etc. Life certainly isn’t picture perfect! We should start a hashtag where we post cliche blogger things in our own way. That would be so funny.
Love it!!
I love to meet other bloggers a little bit more like me. Our lives aren’t as perfect as so many bloggers portray themselves in their perfect Stepford homes. I don’t even try.
Here’s my related post – http://www.porkandcookies.com/what-makes-me-a-unique-blogger/
-Kirsten // http://www.porkandcookies.com
Oh thank you! I’ll check it out!
Roxanne this post is hilarious! Love it.
Glad you enjoyed it, Sharon! Also, my middle name is Sharon! Great name 😉
Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!! Lol – loved reading this because of the things we did without realizing it! I’m the same way with my coffee in the morning! Usually if it’s photographed in a Starbucks cup, it’s empty!! Such a good laugh girl! Have an awesome weekend!
Brittany 🙂
http://www.kingdomofsequins.com
Ha! I love the empty starbucks cup trick. You’re so funny!
My sides ache!!! LOL I confess, I’ve tried the balloon act, and it’s really not quite as easy (nor fun) as it appears. Those damn things never co-operate. The helium in them doesn’t last very long so after a bit, you need to literally do a little run to jerk them into camera-ready airborne position. And, my #1 peeve, you can’t release them into the sky. Apparently, it’s illegal to do that in Houston. Sigh. I’ll just stick to writing about my emotions xoxo
That’s a HUGE compliment coming from you! Your articles are always so full of substance, so thank you so much. I’m imagining you jerking a balloon with words around, and I’m giggling!
This was so fun to read! I’m right there with you! Your sweater is adorable and I’m loving those shoes!
Jill
Doused In Pink
Thanks, Jill! I try to be funny when I can!
Yes I’m not a typical blogger either, this sometimes shows in my photos (the ones I try to take myself) lol. Fab jumper and cute shoes, I’m such a fan of white jumpers. Jacqui
http://www.mummabstylish.com
Lol, we are all trying here! Thank you so much.
Wasn’t aware of these things but probably should be why you’re NOT sucky!! Pretty sweater, earrings and purse and choker!!
I will show you some photos! Aw thanks.
Oh.My.God Roxanne, I laughed out loud at your list!! I am so there with you sister! I tnink the only thing I have done is the balloon post, but most everything else I am with you.
Such a great post and as always you look stunning. Obsessed with your FP sweater!
xx, Elise
http://www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com
Hahaaa! I’m happy you laughed! Props to you for doing the balloon post! That just means you had something really big to celebrate!
I do agree with the ridiculous-ness of most of these bloggerisms…but I do have to say I love lazy AF weekends! Mine are just not Insta-worthy…we’re talking a sweatshirt from high school and Target yoga pants circa 2013!
By the way, happy Thursday (JOKING!)
-Kristin
Girl I love lazy weekends too! Haaa I could probably carbon date some of my non-insta worthy lounge clothing! Teeheee HAPPY ALMOST FRIDAY (*huge wink*)
OH my gosh! I LOVE this post! LOVEEEE it! Haha! Ok, I have started my posts with ‘Happy’ and I have tried to stop it… you are so right, they know what day of the week it is! And, yeah… who has time to lay in bed with long socks and coffee all day?! That sweater is adorable!
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
It makes me so happy that you loved this post, too! I had so much fun writing it. The socks and coffee aerial bed photos always blow my mind! If I asked my husband to take a photo like that he would burst out laughing.
This is funny! Dying at the tall socks. ?
Lol and you get those balloons at any party store. Didn’t know you had to blog to get them. ??
Would also be funny to see the reverse post – like things you do because you’re a blogger that you know are silly to the rest of us. ?
P.S. Feel free to borrow my kitchen whenever you have a marble shortage ?
Hahaaa! Okay maybe I will hit a milestone where I will feel super compelled to get a balloon that says something. But it will probably say “CAT”
Oh that’s a great idea! I will definitely work on a post like that!
Gahh your kitchen is gorgeous. But until then #marblecontactpaperFTW
This post! I read this early this morning, while still in bed, and laughed so loud I’m pretty sure I woke everyone up! Ha! I am throwing myself into the same category of “not a typical blogger” and I came up with a few to add to your list!
1. If I order an unbelievable amount of food at a restaurant, I will eat it. Not just photograph it all for IG and then leave (I’ve seen this happen IRL!)
2. Photographing everything (and I mean everything) with a highly exposed white background is boring and cold.
3. My living room doesn’t have highly curated blankets that match the decor. I have a knitted in the ’70s orange and brown blanket that I have been using since I was born.
4. I don’t have sparkles and confetti all over my house because I am a 36 year old women, not a 14 year old at a sleep over (ok, that sounds harsh but I am beyond over the constant glitter on everything).
Cheers to keeping it real, Roxanne!
xx Rox-Anne, Celebratingthislife.ca
OOOH MY GOSH Rox-Anne these are HILARIOUS! I’m loling right now! I LOVE your blog and your instagram account so keep it up!
Ha! I’ve never understood the airport chic… the airport is the one place where everybody should probably look like doodoo :’D
HA! Especially when you have to be at the airport at like 4am most of the time. A lot of bloggers have these beautiful white pieces of luggage. Like…WUT?!